Night of the Lepus (1972).
The Scoop:
Starring Stuart Whitman, Janet Leigh, DeForest Kelley, Rory Calhoun and some of the deadliest rabbits outside of Monty Python, “Night of the Lepus” is one of the pioneering films in the ‘70s wave of eco-horror films and, needless to say, probably the silliest.
When Arizona rancher Cole Hillman’s (Calhoun) land is overrun with rabbits, he gets his university president pal Elgin Clark (Kelley) to call in heroic wildlife researchers Roy and Gerry Bennett (Whitman and Leigh) to find a nonpoisonous, environmentally friendly way to control the population. Unfortunately, the couple’s daughter Amanda (Melanie Fullerton) switches around some of the rabbits her parents are experimenting on, resulting in a plague of giant man-eating bunnies terrorizing the desert Southwest.
Director William F. Claxton and writers Don Holliday and Gene R. Kearney (working from what must be an absurd novel by Russell Braddon) throw in just about every genre cliché available, and while there is the occasional good moment, it’s just not enough. The fairly talented cast just sleepwalks through every scene and the script lets a lot of important pieces of plot happen offscreen. And no matter how much the breathless introduction tries to convince us how threatening rabbits can be, it’s all undercut by the ridiculous premise and bad slow motion effects.
“Night of the Lepus” is definitely a must-watch, but for all the wrong reasons.
Best Bit:
The bunny attack inside the miner’s shack.
Side Note:
The studio was afraid that if the audience knew the movie was about killer rabbits, they wouldn’t watch it. So the novel’s title (“The Year of the Angry Rabbit”) was changed and no rabbits appeared on the original theater posters.
Companion Viewing:
“Kingdom of the Spiders” (1977).
Links:
IMDb.
The Agony Booth.
BadMovies.org.
Take a Look:
The trailer:
Charade (1963).
The Scoop:
Two of Hollywood’s classic romantic leads, Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn, team up for this great suspense thriller, their only cinematic pairing.
Hepburn is Regina Lampert, a widow who discovers that her dead husband had a secret past and a big stash of hidden loot. Pretty soon, all his old cohorts are chasing her through Paris and it’s up to Grant to save her — if she can trust him. Where’s the money hidden? Who will the killer strike next? The viewer is kept guessing right up to the end and Hepburn and Grant keep the romantic sparks flying. The supporting cast is filled with familiar faces, including James Coburn, George Kennedy and Walter Matthau.
Produced and directed by Stanley Donen, best known for his musicals, “Charade” is smart, witty and stylish. The script by Peter Stone is great, as is the music by Henry Mancini. Top notch all the way. This is one of the best films Hitchcock never made.
Best Bit:
Just pick any bit of banter between Hepburn and Grant. It’s all great.
Side Note:
At the British Academy Awards, this performance earned Grant a nomination for Best Foreign Actor — even though he was born and raised in London.
Companion Viewing:
“Suspicion” (1941) and “The Usual Suspects” (1995).
Links:
IMDb.
Sweet Sunday Mornings.
The screenplay.
Take a Look:
The deadpan trailer:
Time for a shower!
Succubus: Hell Bent (2007).
The Scoop:
Can I cut to the chase here? This movie is a big old freakin’ waste of time. As a serious horror/thriller, it’s a complete pile of twaddle. As a campy bad movie laughfest, it has a few moments, but mostly fails at that too.
While on spring break in Cancun, a completely douchey womanizing film student cleverly named Adam (Robert Mann) meets a mysterious hottie cleverly named Lilith (Natalie Denise Sperl). When he returns home, she turns up at one of his parties and starts leaving corpses in her wake. Turns out she’s a succubus, a female demon who consumes the souls of men. (In case you weren’t tipped off to that by the title, it’s literally spelled out for you in the movie. Literally. Because nothing says “tense climactic battle” like a little impromptu spelling bee.) Sperl isn’t so bad as Lilith, and is even kind of sexy. But everything else about the movie is just plain wrong.
The brain child of writer/director Kim Bass (who got his start writing for “In Living Color,” oddly enough) is completely amateurish on every level. The script is horrible and cliché-ridden, the direction and editing are muddled, and the acting is wooden at best. All the male actors look like they came out of the same cookie cutter from Pricks ‘R’ Us. And for a movie with a lot of sex in it, there’s absolutely no nudity. You do get to see plenty of Mann’s pasty, mole-filled back, though.
“Succubus: Hell Bent” is completely insulting to women, film students, ambulance drivers and most other intelligent people. Oh, and did I mention that there’s a demonic fighter jet dogfight? Betcha weren’t expecting that!
Save yourself and get out now!
Best Bit:
Gary Busey’s cameo as the whacked-out demon hunter. I’m not sure Busey knew he was really shooting a movie. Also look for really horrible cameos by David Keith, Lorenzo Lamas and Kelly Hu.
Side Note:
Want a mythology lesson? Here are the real stories behind succubi and Lilith.
Companion Viewing:
“Serpent’s Lair” (1995).
Links:
IMDb.
Official site.
Dr. Gore’s Movie Reviews.
1,000 Misspent Hours.
Take a Look:
The trailer. You’ve got to love any movie in which the leads are the last two actors credited, and the first four combined have about 10 minutes of screen time, max:
Can’t Stop the Music (1980).
The Scoop:
Forget “Vegas in Space.” Forget “Paris is Burning.” Hell, even forget “Purple Rain.” This is officially the gayest movie ever made.
It’s the same old trying-to-be-a-star plot that’s been rehashed far too many times, but this time is stars the Village People on the downside of their popularity. And the fact that they seem to be trying so hard to convince the world that they’re not gay just makes the flames coming out of the screen that much more obvious. Add to that the bad dialogue, flashy disco costumes (which, the film would have us believe, the guys wear in their daily lives, too) and the career launch of Steve Gutenberg as a struggling composer, and you’ve got a righteous stinker. A flaming stinker, even.
Want to know who to blame? How about producer/writer Allen Carr, director Nancy Walker, and of course the Village People’s musical svengali, Jacques Morali.
This is one of the quintessential bad movies.
Best Line:
“James is the name, and flame’s my game!”
Best Musical Number:
The deliriously campy “Y.M.C.A.” number, which is (sadly) the only one of their good hits that made it into the film.
Side Note:
Gutenberg’s character, Jack Morrell, is just a thinly-veiled version Morali.
Companion Viewing:
“Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo” (1984), “Purple Rain” (1984) and “Glitter” (2001).
Links:
IMDb.
Cool Cinema Trash.
Take a Look:
The fabulous trailer!
The Wild Angels (1966).
The Scoop:
For one brief, shining moment this was the quintessential Biker Movie — until the release of the far superior “Easy Rider” a few years later.
Peter Fonda plays Heavenly Blues, the leader of a biker gang from Southern California. When his buddy Loser (Bruce Dern) gets his bike stolen, they try to retrieve it, only for Loser to wind up badly hurt in the hospital. The gang tries to bust him out, only to have Loser die in the process. They hold a makeshift funeral and have a mourning party in an old church, which eventually leads to a confrontation with the local upstanding conservative citizens. And that’s it. Pretty basic, really. Nancy Sinatra and Diane Ladd co-star in the obligatory girlfriend roles, while the rest of the gang is made up of various B-movie misfits and hangers-on.
While the plot and characters of “The Wild Angels” don’t amount to much, the attitude and celebration of biker culture shine through. Despite its poor production values, it is a classic of its kind.
Best Line:
“We want to be free! Free to do what we want to do! We want to be free to ride! To ride our machines without being hassled by the man! We want to get loaded! And we want to have a good time! And that’s what we’re gonna do! We’re gonna have a good time! We’re gonna have a party!”
Side Note:
Rumor has it that Laura Dern was conceived on the set of this one.
Companion Viewing:
“Easy Rider” (1969) and “The Wild One” (1954).
Links:
IMDb.
Motherfucking Masterpieces.
Take a Look:
The opener:
Party!
Peter Fonda sticks it to The Man in one of the all-time great movie speeches:
Desuko Movie Spot. 