Robot Monster (1953).

The Scoop:
It’s the end of the world as we know it – or maybe it’s not. It was all just a dream – or maybe it wasn’t. It’s kinda hard to tell with this movie. A guy with an ape suit and a bubble machine tries to take over the world. There’s a lone family of survivors. Bad dinosaur footage pops up once in a while. It all adds up to one of the absolute worst movies ever made. And it’s in 3-D!

It’s bad, but in kind of a fun way. It’s mighty slow in patches, so its entertainment value doesn’t hold up as much as some other bad movies classics like “Plan 9 From Outer Space,” but it does have its moments. But mostly it’s kind of an oddball. It seems to be aimed at the same kiddie audience as the Republic serials of the time, but it’s got some awfully dark stuff (like murdered kids and implied rape) thrown in. And its tone just gets bleaker and most despairing as it goes along. Thankfully that despair is kept at arm’s length by the bad monster costume, the bubble machine and the relentlessly bad acting. It sure is something else.

And yet despite all its ineptitude – or perhaps because of it – Ro-Man, our boy in the gorilla suit, is one of the most endearing of the b-movie creatures. Who can resist a helmeted ape who just walks around a valley all day spouting non sequitur threats?

Think you’ve seen bad movies before? Think again. This is far, far worse. Trust me.

Best Line:
“At what point on the graph do ‘must’ and ‘cannot’ meet?”

Side Note:
The dinosaur footage comes from that old standby, “One Million B.C.” (1940).

Companion Viewing:
“Teenage Caveman” (1958).

Links:
IMDb.
BadMovies.org.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

What’s going on here? Hell if I know, but the whole movie just sort of goes on and on like this: