B. Monkey (1998).

The Scoop:
The main thing to recommend this middling, faux-edgy romantic drama is some generous flashes of nudity from the luscious, though marginally talented, Asia Argento.

She plays the title character in this British production about a sweet and decent grade school teacher/frustrated musician Alan (Jared Harris) who gets involved with a sexy former thief (Argento, in the title role) who can’t quite put her past behind her (nor fully mask her thick Italian accent). The robbery sequences provide the only real energy in the movie, which also features a great performance by Rupert Everett in a wasted role as B.’s former partner in crime/bisexual lover.

Watch it just to ogle Asia, or for the odd other little touches, like Alan’s nighttime job as a jazz DJ in a hospital (huh?).

Best Line:
“Whoever thought I could find happiness in the middle of fucking nowhere?”

Side Note:
Asia is the daughter of Italian horror/suspense meister Dario Argento, and she got her start appearing in his films. I guess you could call her an Italian Sofia Coppola, since she has also moved on to directing films that have been generally better received than her acting.

Companion Viewing:
“Killing Zoe” (1994).

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
B. gets pulled back into the game by Bruno (played by Jonathan Rhys-Meyers):

Some more chitchat, this time with tongues:

Happy birthday, Bruno!

Finally, some action! (Contains spoilers):