He Knows You’re Alone (1980).
Before he was heralded as the greatest actor of his generation, Tom Hanks made a lot of dumb ’80s comedies. And before he made those dumb ’80s comedies, he made some truly bad movies. This is one of them.
“He Knows You’re Alone” was his film debut, and he’s the only reason to see this turd. Unfortunately, we don’t even get the chance to see him in a big role. Instead, he turns up toward the end as a disposable boyfriend of another minor character.
The main plot involves a serial killer stalking women on the night before each one’s wedding. As the corpses pile up at a sluggish rate, it’s up to bride-to-be Caitlin O’Heaney and ex-boyfriend Don Scardino to put a stop the clichéd shenanigans.
If you’re in the mood for a decent, mindless “first wave” (i.e., late-’70s/early-’80s) slasher film, this should be toward the bottom of your list.
The end credits, I suppose, because that means it is finally, mercifully over.
O’Heaney is the great-great-great granddaughter of Jacob Best, the creator of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.
“April Fool’s Day” (1986).
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